Photo provided to Hangzhoufeel
Story
By Daria Fominykh
“The day begins with welcoming children. Then they have breakfast, and we create a circle. We have circle time where we sing songs, share compliments, and express gratitude. This sets a positive tone for the day.” Dorota Sim from Warsaw, Poland, describes how her workday starts in Hangzhou.
How many of us had a teacher who inspired us to express gratitude and find positivity in small things? How many of us had a teacher who tried to understand and acknowledge our feelings when we were kids?
At least the pupils taught by Dorota, an early years educator at an international school, have the opportunity to grow “positively”. She teaches subjects like literacy, numeracy, and discovery lessons--all through an interactive and, most importantly, “positive” approach. What does “positive” mean, and why does it matter? Before I share the answers from Dorota, you should imagine how she looks.
Dorota’s appearance reflects her lifestyle. She is a graceful woman who will catch your eyes the second you see her in a room. She is tall with a healthy posture; her curly blond hair falls past her shoulders. Her confident, energetic eyes and gentle, open smile give her an inviting charm. Not to mention the bright colors and jewelry she wears, which highlight her cheerful and put-together persona.
In her work with the kids, she uses an approach called positive discipline. It emphasizes encouragement and respect for children, focusing on positive solutions.
“Imagine a child constantly interrupting, whether at school or at home, while you’re trying to teach or have a conversation. The typical response might be, ‘Stop talking, be quiet!’ However, positive discipline takes a different approach; it teaches you to understand that children do this because they want to belong and feel significant.”
She continues, “Instead of shutting them down, positive discipline teaches you to acknowledge their feelings by saying, ‘I know you’re excited and want to share your thoughts.’ Then you might try to redirect the child’s behavior into contribution, for instance, ask a child for help. As a teacher, you could say, ‘Could you help me hold this book?’ or ‘Can you pass out these papers?’”
Dorota emphasizes that by giving children a sense of responsibility and making them feel valued, teachers and parents can guide “a misbehaving child” toward cooperation. She also mentions that with these tools, we can raise stronger, happier individuals who know how to manage their emotions. Reflecting on the nature of behavior, Dorota adds, “Nobody is born bad,” and cites Frederick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Would you agree with such an approach? Dorota has strong support from parents like Katrina, who shared that Dorota inspired her daughter to love reading and helped her feel more at ease about nurturing her daughter’s natural interest in books. “Dorota encouraged me to follow my heart and let my daughter choose books she enjoys, giving her time to grow instead of forcing her into after-school English class she might not like,” Katrina said.
Interestingly, Dorota did not learn about positive discipline during her university studies. She began exploring it on her own after moving to China in 2017. Having lived and worked as a teacher in Poland, the USA, and the UK, her move to China coincided with her discovery of positive discipline. She learned through self-study, reading books, and taking online and offline courses.
Let me not mislead you—Dorota has many hobbies outside of teaching. In fact, her rich daily life is what helps her stay patient and energetic with the children.
You already know how Dorota’s workdays start; here’s a glimpse into her preparation before that. “I wake up around 5 or 5:30 AM and start my day with peaceful music, like classical or jazz. I drink tea or hot water, as the Chinese do, and I’ve really developed a love for hot water! Sometimes I meditate for five minutes if I have time. It’s all about setting a peaceful atmosphere for the day with good vibes,” describes Dorota.
Twice a week, she finishes her day with a gym session. On weekends and during her other free time, you can often find Dorota on a badminton court, in a swimming pool, hiking, or visiting an art gallery. Being active and persistent in her routine has been part of her life since childhood. “You need to take care of yourself to stay healthy and energized. Only by making time for activities that bring you happiness can you share positive energy with others,” Dorota explains.
In terms of sharing, Dorota recently initiated a workshop on positive discipline for teachers at her school. Dorota’s colleague, Mr. Rushing, commented on the workshop: “One fantastic takeaway from Dorota’s presentation was the idea of modeling good behavior through role-play. Encourage students to act out good behavior and practice it often in this manner.”
Understanding these concepts through examples and feedback from others can be difficult, as, like any other field of study, it requires a long path of learning. For Dorota, it hasn’t been easy either: “I’ve had a long journey to understand certain concepts. Even now, I still want to grow personally and professionally, and become more knowledgeable about positive discipline.”
Dorota has a big goal but she speaks about it with calmness and humbleness. While enjoying her life, she gracefully paves her path towards “empowering parents and educators with the right tools to raise confident children and contribute to a more positive society”,as she gently put it at the end of our chat.
Are you inspired by Dorota’s story to learn about positive discipline, as I am? Below, Dorota has prepared some book recommendations for you:
1.Positive Discipline
by Jane Nelson
2.Positive Discipline A-Z 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems
by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott,
and Stephen Glenn
3.Positive Discipline in the School and Classroom
by Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott
4.How Children Succeed
by Paul Tough
5.Positive Education
by Jacolyn M. Norrish
6.Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
by Laura Markham